im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
