fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think my vagina is haunted
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
