Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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