I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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