I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have post one night stand depression
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
