i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
