grandma shit on top of the toilet
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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