i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
