it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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