my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
