Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you had me at cake vodka
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
