I'm jealous of your bromance
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
