Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
