thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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