I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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