im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
