I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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