were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
