I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
