You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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