I'm jealous of your bromance
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
