season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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