I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
how drunk are you?
Several
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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