Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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