I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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