Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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