I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
