zippers are such a cool invention
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
