I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
