i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
