He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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