how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
