this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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