Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
