In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
