you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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