He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
