Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
