4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
