do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize