Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
