I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
