i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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