i barfeds in our rink
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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