After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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