I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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