I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
