Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize