Don't you send me to vm
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
