He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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