whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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