return my video game
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
