was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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