remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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