I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
