:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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