Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
