Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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