My nipple is on Facebook.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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