You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Is it because I queefed?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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