I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
