Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize