Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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