Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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