I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize