Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
