Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
