But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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